Well, we're in a four-part series here on discussion challenges in a growth group. We've looked at talkative members, quiet members. Today, we're going to look at the challenge of incorrect answers. So that's right, you've asked a question and a group member has given an incorrect answer. Now, here's a range of what incorrect means; we'll look at that. But it is a kind of stressful situation for leaders to be in. What do you do? Usually, answers come back, they're really good, helpful. What if something is incorrect? How are we going to think about that?
Let's start with a couple of Bible verses. I think that will help us. So, Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” And that's just typical helpful wisdom from Proverbs. We need gentle responses in these situations if something incorrect comes up. We want to avoid harsh words. That's only going to make people embarrassed, frustrated, and angry.
So, Proverbs is great for wisdom in small group leading, but also 2 Timothy 2:24-26. These are verses I come back to often in ministry in small group leading. But these say, from 2 Timothy 2:24, “and the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome, but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed in the hope that God will grant them repentance, leading them to a knowledge of the truth and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil who has taken them captive to do his will.”
Right now, plenty is going on in those few verses and probably some. This is probably addressing more extreme behaviour of opponents in ministry and false teaching, and so on. But there are principles there that are going to be helpful, even with something as simple as an incorrect answer in a small group meeting.
So, we see there the Lord's servants are not to be quarrelsome. So, we want to avoid quarrels in our group. Sometimes that happens, and that's a necessary part of group life, a lively discussion or conflict. But as we as leaders, we don't want to be in quarrels and we don't want to foster quarrels and arguments.
It says there, we're going to be kind to people. So that's an important principle. Sometimes when an incorrect answer comes in, we can feel grumpy about that. This person is creating awkwardness in the group or requiring making you to work harder. But you're going to resist that, which would be kind to everyone in our group, including the person with the incorrect answer, and not be resentful. And it talks about gentle instruction, the same thing as Proverbs, it's gentleness. That's so important, isn't it? Gentle instruction, hopefully, that God grants them there's a spiritual thing, God grants them knowledge of the truth, and that even escape from traps of the devil, there's like a spiritual dimension going on here.
But the big takeaway I think for 2 Timothy is gentleness and avoiding quarrelsomeness as we handle incorrect answers. So, let's think about this situation. So, what's going on? said there before there's a range of incorrect answers. And so, my advice here is, if you're running through a study and something is an answer that's not quite right, don't react in the moment. I think I'm getting you to reflect and then respond.
So, reflect on what's going on with this answer. Now I know it's hard to think quickly in the moment here, but think about it, is this answer just coming out of ignorance? You know, we've got a young Christian, a new Christian, they're just answering something bravely that they don't know, and they've got it wrong. That's one thing that could be happening.
Another, alternatively incorrect answer is someone's just attempting to have a go at the answer. They're having a go that's not quite formed in their mind, but they're talking, they're contributing. And what they've come up with is close but not right, or it's a bit wrong. But it's coming from a kind of noble attempt at answering a question.
Third option, as you reflect on this answer, here's something that is clearly wrong. It's quite directly opposite to what the Bible itself is saying. It is not consistent with Orthodox, faithful, biblical truth. But it's just, this is a once-off, it's come through.
Or there's one other alternative for the wrong answer, and that's the, this is like a serious challenge. This is someone opposing you in ministry. They know what they're doing; they're deliberately sort of giving an opposite view of what the truth of the Bible is or what you believe is true from doctrine. So just think about, there's a range of options there. Now, how do you respond in that situation? Well, don't stress, remember, stay calm, trust God, it's his power, he's got the situation in hand, so don't react, just stay calm.
But here are a few practical things you can do. So first of all, ask the person to clarify or rephrase what their answer is. If they're in the category of just attempting to answer, they're a bit unclear in their head; just giving them that opportunity might help the answer come out a bit more clearly. And then you're right. So, ask to clarify, ask them to rephrase. Does that not quite make sense? Could you just explain that again? Again, just in a gentle way.
Then another option you can do is just say, " Oh, that's interesting. Now, can you show us where you see that in the Bible?” Like, not in that kind of test way or I'm trying to catch you sort of way, but genuinely interested, know, yeah. Can you show where did see that in the Bible? Can you show me where that is coming from? And they might say, " Oh, it's coming from here.” Or they might say, "Oh, actually, no, I don't know where the answers are from.” And that you'd move on.
A third one that is really common is to say, " It’s interesting what other people think.” So that means that's really helpful because you've just been gentle, you've encouraged that person, you're thankful for their contribution. This works well in most situations. And you're inviting the rest of the group to contribute. And nearly always, there'll be people in your group who have a good knowledge of the Bible and doctrine. And they're going to be able to, and they've got the relational skills, they'll be able to respond to that incorrect answer and give a different nuance or a different tweak or give their own opinion. And that the group can discuss that. And that helps you avoid being in the situation of like, you know, judge of the truth or, you know, always, you've got to get right, you've got to, everyone's got to just fit with what I think, you know, it allows the group to have that healthy dynamic of studying the Bible together. So, what other people think, you know, get a few ranges of voices there and often that'll help get things on track.
Then there is one more, and that's, well, that's when you do actually have to step in as a group leader who has been entrusted with this group. And when you are sound in the faith, we know that, and it is where you do have to speak up and say and express the truth. So, you might say, again, it's gentleness. You'd say, thank you for answering. I see that this is important to you, and I can understand where that's coming from. But I think, based on what the Bible says, or you can always go back to the Bible, based on what I think we're seeing in the Bible here, I think this is the case. You might say, ⁓ I think, based on what we see here in Romans, that really the only way to be right with God is through faith in Jesus alone. I don’t think it's our good works.
And so, you can do that gently from the Bible, but clearly, you're expressing biblical truth here. And that was a way of loving your group, especially your group members who might be a bit thrown by an incorrect answer, because they're kind of looking to you, it's like, this doesn't seem right, but what does my leader think? They're looking to you, and they think, okay, that's really helpful. He or she has explained what the truth is from the Bible.
And as you do that, you do that gently, you might say, how does that sound to other people? Can you see where I've got that in the Bible? So, it's this back-and-forth thing, not like you've just laid down the law, but you have expressed the truth, and you're inviting people to respond to what they see there in the Bible themselves. And then as that conversation goes on, it's always going to be a little bit awkward there as you've had to sort of speak clearly about the truth. You can have a bit of a discussion, and things might run their course there; that's fine. Or you might have to say, well, we're going back and forth a few times now, I think it's probably time to move on to the next thing in the study. But how about we talk about this afterwards
And there you have it; I think we'll have a good resolution of the problem. That's in the moment in the study. If this incorrect answer is coming from a more serious place, or someone's genuinely got a problem with a certain aspect of biblical teaching or what doctrines are coming across in the study, then this is probably a conversation for outside of the group time, where we're not going to embarrass the other person as we engage with them. The tensions go away a little bit if it's just a one-to-one, say, where are you coming from? Why is this important to you? Where do you see it in the Bible? A bit of back and forth there, and you can have a helpful, constructive conversation there, a bit more like in that two Timothy vibe of opponents generally being instructed and coming to a knowledge of the trees.
And of course, having said all that, we are fallible as well. And so it may be that our own doctrine needs updating or correcting, or learning. We need to keep coming back to the Bible and wrestling with these things. And we're not alone in small group ministry; we have our growth group team leaders, area leaders and pastors who can help us with any of these doctrinal questions.
So, there you are, there are a few tips on how to respond when leading a discussion with incorrect answers. If you've got ideas, other ways of handling the situation, yeah, let me know, I'd be keen to hear of them. See you in the next podcast.