This final episode in the six-part series closes out the training new leaders framework by focusing on the run stage. Richard explains how to move beyond basic delegation into intentional coaching, constructive feedback, and character development. It also serves as a short send off before his long service leave, with practical encouragement for leaders who want to leave behind a legacy of capable, growing leaders.
Richard continues his series on training small group leaders, focusing on the “walk” stage of development. He explains how to give emerging leaders a little more responsibility, while still supporting them with intentional encouragement before and after each task. He also highlights humility as a key quality to look for in future leaders, because it makes people teachable and easier to train.
This episode continues the Small Group Toolbox series on training new leaders, focusing on the simplest level of development: the crawl stage. Richard explains how even busy or inexperienced leaders can start training others by handing over small, manageable responsibilities that build confidence and skill. He also grounds the approach in Mark 10, using Jesus welcoming little children as the model for a compassionate, humble way of developing trainees.
This episode in the short series on training new leaders focuses on how to spot potential leaders in your group. Richard explains that leadership development starts with seeing people as trainees, not finished products, and offers a practical framework for deciding who might be ready for a training conversation.
This episode kicks off a new series on training leaders in small groups. Richard explains why training matters, then focuses on the heart and mindset barriers that can keep leaders from multiplying ministry. He also anchors the discussion in 2 Timothy 2:2 and Colossians 1:6, showing the biblical vision behind passing ministry on to others and embracing growth.
Summary
This episode explores the profound themes in 2 Samuel, focusing on David's rise, his covenant with God, his sins, and the foreshadowing of Jesus as the ultimate Messiah. It offers deep insights into biblical leadership, faithfulness, and God's promises.
Key Topics
David's anointing and rise to kingship
The covenant God makes with David in 2 Samuel 7
David's sins and God's discipline
The promise of an everlasting throne
Foreshadowing of Jesus as the Messiah
The significance of Jerusalem and the Ark
David's final acts and his legacy
This episode is a solo overview of 1 Samuel, designed to help small group leaders understand where the book fits in the Bible and why it matters. Richard walks through the major movement of the book, from Hannah and Samuel to Saul’s decline and David’s rise, while highlighting how 1 Samuel points forward to God’s true king.In this episode, Richard explains how 1 Samuel connects the era of the judges to the monarchy, why Hannah’s prayer in chapter 2 is so important, and how Samuel’s ministry of prayer and teaching shapes the rest of the book. He also shows how the book raises the big question of kingship and ultimately points to Jesus as the Messiah and King.
This episode gives a fast, Bible-level overview of Ruth for small group leaders. It explains how the book is set in the chaos of the judges, how its plot moves from famine and loss to redemption and joy, and why Ruth points forward to David and ultimately Jesus.Richard walks through the book’s setting, key characters, major plot movement, and biblical theology, with a focus on helping listeners read Ruth with more confidence and bigger-picture awareness.
In this episode of Small Group Toolbox, Richard explores the fascinating and complex book of Judges, highlighting its themes of leadership, rebellion, and divine rescue. Perfect for small group leaders and students of the Bible, this discussion offers insights into how Judges reflects God's patience and the consequences of societal chaos, all pointing toward the need for a true king—Jesus Christ.
Catch up on the King’s Birthday Weekend Big Ideas Night: Canon and Catholicism
Episode 20: Joshua In this episode of Small Group Toolbox, we begin a new Bible overview series by looking at the book of Joshua. Joshua marks a major shift in the biblical story as Israel moves from the wilderness into the land God promised to Abraham. The episode explores Joshua’s role as the new leader after Moses, the call to be strong and courageous, and the importance of trusting God’s presence and promises .A key theme in Joshua is promise fulfilment. The land is finally given to Israel, and the book repeatedly shows that God keeps every promise he makes. The episode also highlights the tension in the book: while the conquest brings rest, it also reveals the seriousness of sin, judgment, and Israel’s ongoing need for faithfulness. You’ll hear about:
Are you struggling with absent group members? This series offers practical strategies rooted in Scripture to help you understand, reach out, and accept the realities of low attendance in your small group. Whether you’re in the early stages or dealing with long-term absenteeism, these insights will encourage you to approach each situation with love, patience, and biblical wisdom.
In this series, we cover:
Common group reasons why members might be absent (Part 1)
Practical first steps to reconnect (Part 2)
Deepening understanding and next actions for persistent absences (Part 3)
Biblical perspectives on acceptance and hope (Part 4)
In this episode, we move beyond the first follow-up steps and look at deeper, more pastoral conversations that help uncover what’s really behind low attendance. It works because listeners feel understood when a practical problem is framed as a people-and-heart issue, not just a scheduling issue.
Absent attendance is often a symptom, not the root problem. Wise leaders need to move gently beneath the surface, ask better questions, and respond with both truth and grace.
Unity and peace matter in these conversations
The message of Christ should shape our tone
Wisdom is more helpful than quick assumptions
The real issue may be spiritual, relational, or practical
A good next step is often a deeper conversation, not just another reminder
Explore practical strategies and biblical insights for leading effective small groups, focusing on handling quiet and talkative members, nurturing relationships in the first four weeks, choosing the right venue, managing disagreements, and fostering communication. Designed to empower group leaders to create healthy, welcoming, and biblically faithful environments that grow disciples.
Summary In this episode, we explore the various reasons why members might not attend small group meetings, emphasizing understanding and patience. Led by insights from a seasoned group leader, this discussion offers practical advice for fostering a supportive community.
Keywords small group, absent members, church community, pastoral care, group leadership, church growth, pastoral advice
Key Topics
Reasons for absence in small groups
Impact of sickness and mental health
Family and life chaos affecting attendance
Scheduling conflicts and group conflict
Quality of group experience and sin issues
titles
Understanding Absence in Small Groups: Reasons and Responses
Why Members Miss Small Group: Insights for Leaders
Sound Bites
"We are shepherds, and it matters that we watch over the people entrusted to us."
"Mental illness can be a reason why people are not coming regularly."
"Significant sin can be a barrier to attendance."
Chapters
00:00Introduction to the Absent Member Series
02:30Understanding the Reasons for Absenteeism
11:01Navigating the Challenges of Absenteeism
Discover practical strategies to lead effectively with talkative members, manage tangents, and foster healthy group discussions. Whether you're new or experienced, learn how biblical principles guide our approach to group communication and behaviour.
The value of talkative group members and biblical insights on speech (Proverbs 10, Colossians 3)
Strategies for encouraging quieter members and managing dominance
Practical tactics: go around the room, interrupt politely, private coaching, and space management
Handling interruptions and tangents: when to allow, limit, or postpone discussions
The importance of context: early vs. established groups, new vs. veteran members
Recognizing emotional weight in sidetracks and guiding the group back on track
Using questions and group dynamics to promote biblical growth and unity
Well, we're in a four-part series here on discussion challenges in a growth group. We've looked at talkative members, quiet members. Today, we're going to look at the challenge of incorrect answers. So that's right, you've asked a question and a group member has given an incorrect answer. Now, here's a range of what incorrect means; we'll look at that. But it is a kind of stressful situation for leaders to be in. What do you do? Usually, answers come back, they're really good, helpful. What if something is incorrect? How are we going to think about that?
Let's start with a couple of Bible verses. I think that will help us. So, Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” And that's just typical helpful wisdom from Proverbs. We need gentle responses in these situations if something incorrect comes up. We want to avoid harsh words. That's only going to make people embarrassed, frustrated, and angry.
So, Proverbs is great for wisdom in small group leading, but also 2 Timothy 2:24-26. These are verses I come back to often in ministry in small group leading. But these say, from 2 Timothy 2:24, “and the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome, but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed in the hope that God will grant them repentance, leading them to a knowledge of the truth and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil who has taken them captive to do his will.”
Right now, plenty is going on in those few verses and probably some. This is probably addressing more extreme behaviour of opponents in ministry and false teaching, and so on. But there are principles there that are going to be helpful, even with something as simple as an incorrect answer in a small group meeting.
So, we see there the Lord's servants are not to be quarrelsome. So, we want to avoid quarrels in our group. Sometimes that happens, and that's a necessary part of group life, a lively discussion or conflict. But as we as leaders, we don't want to be in quarrels and we don't want to foster quarrels and arguments.
It says there, we're going to be kind to people. So that's an important principle. Sometimes when an incorrect answer comes in, we can feel grumpy about that. This person is creating awkwardness in the group or requiring making you to work harder. But you're going to resist that, which would be kind to everyone in our group, including the person with the incorrect answer, and not be resentful. And it talks about gentle instruction, the same thing as Proverbs, it's gentleness. That's so important, isn't it? Gentle instruction, hopefully, that God grants them there's a spiritual thing, God grants them knowledge of the truth, and that even escape from traps of the devil, there's like a spiritual dimension going on here.
But the big takeaway I think for 2 Timothy is gentleness and avoiding quarrelsomeness as we handle incorrect answers. So, let's think about this situation. So, what's going on? said there before there's a range of incorrect answers. And so, my advice here is, if you're running through a study and something is an answer that's not quite right, don't react in the moment. I think I'm getting you to reflect and then respond.
So, reflect on what's going on with this answer. Now I know it's hard to think quickly in the moment here, but think about it, is this answer just coming out of ignorance? You know, we've got a young Christian, a new Christian, they're just answering something bravely that they don't know, and they've got it wrong. That's one thing that could be happening.
Another, alternatively incorrect answer is someone's just attempting to have a go at the answer. They're having a go that's not quite formed in their mind, but they're talking, they're contributing. And what they've come up with is close but not right, or it's a bit wrong. But it's coming from a kind of noble attempt at answering a question.
Third option, as you reflect on this answer, here's something that is clearly wrong. It's quite directly opposite to what the Bible itself is saying. It is not consistent with Orthodox, faithful, biblical truth. But it's just, this is a once-off, it's come through.
Or there's one other alternative for the wrong answer, and that's the, this is like a serious challenge. This is someone opposing you in ministry. They know what they're doing; they're deliberately sort of giving an opposite view of what the truth of the Bible is or what you believe is true from doctrine. So just think about, there's a range of options there. Now, how do you respond in that situation? Well, don't stress, remember, stay calm, trust God, it's his power, he's got the situation in hand, so don't react, just stay calm.
But here are a few practical things you can do. So first of all, ask the person to clarify or rephrase what their answer is. If they're in the category of just attempting to answer, they're a bit unclear in their head; just giving them that opportunity might help the answer come out a bit more clearly. And then you're right. So, ask to clarify, ask them to rephrase. Does that not quite make sense? Could you just explain that again? Again, just in a gentle way.
Then another option you can do is just say, " Oh, that's interesting. Now, can you show us where you see that in the Bible?” Like, not in that kind of test way or I'm trying to catch you sort of way, but genuinely interested, know, yeah. Can you show where did see that in the Bible? Can you show me where that is coming from? And they might say, " Oh, it's coming from here.” Or they might say, "Oh, actually, no, I don't know where the answers are from.” And that you'd move on.
A third one that is really common is to say, " It’s interesting what other people think.” So that means that's really helpful because you've just been gentle, you've encouraged that person, you're thankful for their contribution. This works well in most situations. And you're inviting the rest of the group to contribute. And nearly always, there'll be people in your group who have a good knowledge of the Bible and doctrine. And they're going to be able to, and they've got the relational skills, they'll be able to respond to that incorrect answer and give a different nuance or a different tweak or give their own opinion. And that the group can discuss that. And that helps you avoid being in the situation of like, you know, judge of the truth or, you know, always, you've got to get right, you've got to, everyone's got to just fit with what I think, you know, it allows the group to have that healthy dynamic of studying the Bible together. So, what other people think, you know, get a few ranges of voices there and often that'll help get things on track.
Then there is one more, and that's, well, that's when you do actually have to step in as a group leader who has been entrusted with this group. And when you are sound in the faith, we know that, and it is where you do have to speak up and say and express the truth. So, you might say, again, it's gentleness. You'd say, thank you for answering. I see that this is important to you, and I can understand where that's coming from. But I think, based on what the Bible says, or you can always go back to the Bible, based on what I think we're seeing in the Bible here, I think this is the case. You might say, ⁓ I think, based on what we see here in Romans, that really the only way to be right with God is through faith in Jesus alone. I don’t think it's our good works.
And so, you can do that gently from the Bible, but clearly, you're expressing biblical truth here. And that was a way of loving your group, especially your group members who might be a bit thrown by an incorrect answer, because they're kind of looking to you, it's like, this doesn't seem right, but what does my leader think? They're looking to you, and they think, okay, that's really helpful. He or she has explained what the truth is from the Bible.
And as you do that, you do that gently, you might say, how does that sound to other people? Can you see where I've got that in the Bible? So, it's this back-and-forth thing, not like you've just laid down the law, but you have expressed the truth, and you're inviting people to respond to what they see there in the Bible themselves. And then as that conversation goes on, it's always going to be a little bit awkward there as you've had to sort of speak clearly about the truth. You can have a bit of a discussion, and things might run their course there; that's fine. Or you might have to say, well, we're going back and forth a few times now, I think it's probably time to move on to the next thing in the study. But how about we talk about this afterwards
And there you have it; I think we'll have a good resolution of the problem. That's in the moment in the study. If this incorrect answer is coming from a more serious place, or someone's genuinely got a problem with a certain aspect of biblical teaching or what doctrines are coming across in the study, then this is probably a conversation for outside of the group time, where we're not going to embarrass the other person as we engage with them. The tensions go away a little bit if it's just a one-to-one, say, where are you coming from? Why is this important to you? Where do you see it in the Bible? A bit of back and forth there, and you can have a helpful, constructive conversation there, a bit more like in that two Timothy vibe of opponents generally being instructed and coming to a knowledge of the trees.
And of course, having said all that, we are fallible as well. And so it may be that our own doctrine needs updating or correcting, or learning. We need to keep coming back to the Bible and wrestling with these things. And we're not alone in small group ministry; we have our growth group team leaders, area leaders and pastors who can help us with any of these doctrinal questions.
So, there you are, there are a few tips on how to respond when leading a discussion with incorrect answers. If you've got ideas, other ways of handling the situation, yeah, let me know, I'd be keen to hear of them. See you in the next podcast.
Hi there and welcome to another episode of the Small Group Toolbox. And we're in a series that's about some discussion challenges. Some of the things that are difficult with leading small group discussions. Last time we looked at the quiet member and this time we're going to look at kind of the opposite to that, the Talkative member. Now I think it's actually great to have talkative members in your group.
They bring energy when people are talking, it feels positive, it feels good. Most leaders I know feel more stressed about a quiet group compared to a talkative group, but you can get talkative members that, well, let's say it's a challenge. So if you have a particularly talkative member, it can be difficult for other people to get a word in, to speak, to contribute. It feels like they dominate the conversation.
And it's possible as you have a talkative group member that there's actually some room for growth there. Maybe they need to learn how to think a little bit before speaking, or maybe they need to learn how the rest of the group might contribute, how to encourage quieter people. There can be some growth there for the talkative person. So just wanted to do a little bit on leading a group with a talkative person.
Now, what does the Bible say? Well, I think that, I mean, the Bible is very positive about speech, also has a few words of warning about too much of it. So Proverbs 10, I'll just read verses 19, 20, 21, there's three little proverbs in a row there on speech. Proverbs 10:19 says, “sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues. The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value. The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of sense”. So great couple of three proverbs there. And it shows that multiplying words that can sometimes be a problem seen expands. But I think there's more here on the positives of speech, how the tongue of the righteous is choice silver or the lips of righteous nourish many. So what we want really in our groups is not a multiplication of words that is kind of leading to sin or the expression of sin, but we want lots of people contributing these choice words, the ellipse of the righteous, nourishing each other. And I think you see that in the New Testament as well, like in Colossians 3, where it talks about the word of God dwelling in you richly. So richness in client sounds like there's a lot of it. So a lot of speech, a of great words of the gospel.
So I think, yeah, speech, talking of group members, nothing precisely on it in the Bible. But there's plenty of guidance there about why speech, self-control in speech speaking well. And so that's kind of what we want for our group and for our members. So let me just give a few quick ideas on how you can lead a group with a talkative member. So first of all, again, you kind of chat with checking your heart. You want to give thanks for this person and you want to be encouraging to them. You want to say to them, thanks for that contribution, it's great having you in the group, I love the energy you bring, I love the wayyou speak into the conversations. So be positive. That's always important in leadership. But then what strategies can you do? I think there's a few strategies here that are similar for say like the quiet member. So just as we, for the quiet member, we encourage them to speak by going around the room. That was one of the strategies. You can do the same thing if you have a talkative person. So go around the room.
That compels the talkative person to stay quiet and listen to each answer as you go through. That can be helpful. Similarly, direct questions to people, to the quieter people or the people who aren't talking as much, and encourage them to speak. that, again, automatically requires the talkative person to pause, stop, listen. So you've got to just get out of the habit of every time asking a question and tossing it out there. That will always get picked up by the talkative person. And so vary that by going around the room or asking individuals for their answer. Now, as you are in the midst of discussion and you're sensing that the talkative person has probably had a reasonable contribution to the group, one thing you can do is be firm in your leadership. You can be firm in directing the group's attention to someone's contribution to say, wait, wait, I'd like to hear from person A over here. But to lift that a little bit, another strategy you can do is just learn how to interrupt the talkative person.
Now, for some people, they're very naturally comfortable with that. That's fine. They're happy to interrupt. But depending on who you are, your background, your way of interacting, you might find that quite uncomfortable to interact. It might feel unusual for you. But you can do learn how to do this. Talkative person people, they usually don't mind being interrupted. So what you can do is say things like, wait, I might just stop you there for a moment.
Or you might say, okay, just hold on, I'm gonna pause your answer there, and then I'd like to hear what the rest of the group thinks. Or just hold that thought for a moment. I could tell that someone else had written something down for this answer. Let's hear from them. So it's just a general interruption. It's polite.
You're probably looking for like when they take a breath or something. Some people pause naturally, but other people, you really just have to interrupt. They're on a roll. They're taking a breath. That's when you jump in. But learn how to interrupt. It's not unloving. You're not being rude. And in fact, you're probably actually helping them.
So this takes on to my fourth point, thereabouts of leading groups with talkative people. And that is to have a, some private conversation and coaching with that talkative person. So as you have the opportunity, maybe just after group or, you know, just say, Hey, can I catch you for a few minutes before people leave? You can say to them, look, I love the way you talk and contribute in this group. It's great. I'd love to, I'd love your help in leading this group. Well, I'd love your help in making sure that everybody contributes in this group. How can we get the more quieter people contributing? So bring them on as a helper with you. And what you can say is, look, I love your contributions. How about you, you, you, you speak a little bit less, how it would be if you spoke a little bit less in the group so we could hear from others. And they might say, sure, love to do that.
Well, they might say, oh, sure, I just naturally, I speak a lot. That's who I am. You say, no, that's great. I don't want to change that. That's awesome. But here's a few strategies. And this is where I might suggest some strategies about for them. So one thing they can do is just try counting to 10 slowly before answering. So the question goes out there.
Invite them to just count to 10 in your head quietly before answering and see what happens. And they'll go, wow, okay, that's gonna be really hard, but I think I can do it. And you'll lead a study and you can see them mentally counting out before they answer. that's great. You encourage them with that. So that's one thing they can do. Another thing you can try is if they really are in Pulsar Talk, you can say, well, let's say what's a good level of contribution for an average study? How about you be the first to answer on three occasions?
Let me give you either physically or metaphorically three tickets, three tokens, and in your mind or head as you're sitting there and you're, this is speaking to the person, every time you answer a question first, you've used up one of your tokens, you've used up one of your tickets. And so think carefully about when you want to use them. And once they're gone, they're gone. And that kind of turns it into a bit of a game, something to try for a while. They might appreciate that.
And one last thing on this, as you have a private discussion is some, some talkative people I've known actually really need you to interrupt. They need you to help them with this because they know that they'll just talk and if nobody stops them, they will just roll and roll and keep on talking. And they don't really have an off ramp on this, or once they're on roll. And so they appreciate it when you say to them, all right, thank you. We've really loved your answer. Let's hear from someone else. Or can I just, you know, can we finish up there? They appreciate it. And it just helps them. So don't feel bad at all. And you may be able to have that kind of conversation. say, look, I'll, yeah. If it's all right, I might at times interrupt you. It's not because I don't value your contributions or anything like that, but the safe route, I will do that.
And the talkative person might say, yes, please do it. I understand. No hard feelings. Appreciate that. And there you have, you have a partnership going on with this person and they will learn, they will grow. They will, yeah, they will continue to be a great contributor and speaker in the group. But over time they will become more and more of a team member with you, a partner with you, and their talkativeness will encourage others to talk and it'll go well. So have a go at that.
That's my wisdom, my ideas for leading a group with a talkative person. You might have more ideas, let me know. I'd love to hear from you, anything like that. You've tried, that's been helpful. But we'll leave it there. Hope your group goes really well this week if you are leading and you have some great contributions from people and the talkative people in your group contribute, create space also for others. I'll see you next time.
All right, we're back into another episode of Small Group Toolbox. And this week we are starting a new series on discussion leading challenges. That's right. I know that one of the challenging things, the hard things about leading a small group is leading the discussion. You've got a group of people, a mix of personalities and characteristics, and you're supposed to lead them. And that can be hard. You get a real mix of people. Some people talk a lot, some not so much. Some say helpful things, some say not so helpful things. One of the classics on this topic is actually from Cole Marshall's book, Growth Groups. I got the old version here, in chapter seven called the games people play and he's got a whole heap of constructive roles in groups that are great and also a heap of destructive roles in a group which may be a bit of an overstatement but it's quite memorable as a chapter and he's got some categories such as the onlooker, the monopoliser, a sidetracker, the clown, the expert, the fighter and the chatterer. Seven unhelpful categories. And that's a really helpful chapter in this book if you've got it at home. But I think just what I want to do is run through some of the common ones and give you some tips and strategies on how to lead discussion if you've got people like this in your group.
And so today we're starting with the quiet member. Now, this is really common as I have this conversation with group leaders I ask how's group going and it's common for people to say it's a bit tricky, the group is pretty quiet, we have a few quiet members. Why is that hard? Well, it just means that the discussion doesn't seem to flow or you don't know what's going on in their mind or whether they're enjoying it or not. It's just the elitist senses that the group of health is not as good as it could be because we have a quiet member. Sometimes the study takes a long time to get through because without saying things or, you know, all kinds of reasons. So it is worth digging into this one of how do we help lead a discussion group, a viral study with a quiet member.
And so I think what it needs from us is love and patience is a big starting point. We need to keep, as always, in group leading, we need to examine our hearts, love and patience. And a verse that comes to mind as I think about this topic is 1 Thessalonians 5. Verse 14, says, “we urge you brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone”. That just shows that in Christian life and ministry, there's gonna be a range of personalities, a range of people that we're dealing with, that we're interacting with, that we're leading. And some of those are gonna be weak or disheartened, perhaps that's a reason why they're quiet. There might be other reasons as well, but the point is, no matter what's going on in their heart, in where they're at as a person, that we need to care for them in the loving way appropriate to them. Encouragement here, being helpful and being patient. No point getting irritable or frustrated with people. So that's going to be where our heart is at as we seek to love and help people who are quiet in our groups.
And this really is pursuing, I think, to encourage them in this. If we can help quiet people speak more, they will make genuine contributions. Often quiet people, when they do speak, what they say is actually really helpful. So that will help. And also as they speak up more in the group that will reinforce their own learning. We often learn more, retain more when we actually talk about it or speak about things. So it's good for them. It's also I think will grow their confidence as well as they learn to say things and that gets well received. They'll grow in confidence and it just helps the group as well. So a group where more people are talking more often is going to have more energy, make more progress in the discussion, be more interesting and
So yeah, lots of positives there. All right, so let's get into it. What are some strategies for leading a discussion where you have a quiet member? And first one is to just be patient and observe and wait. All right, you don't need to jump in super soon on this situation. You've picked up as a quiet member in your group. Don't panic. You just give it a few weeks. Give it some time just to see what's going on. Is this a pattern? Is this gonna be a thing or is it just a couple of weeks? Have a think what's going on for them? Why are they quiet? Is there any factors? Speak with your co-leader. What have they noticed? And actually your co-leader even be able to point out things that you haven't noticed that you have a quiet member. Some people, if you're not strong on sort of group awareness kind of stuff, you might not have realized that someone in your group hasn't said anything the whole night or only said one thing. So this is a great time to ask your co-leader to get feedback. And if you're a co-leader, you're noticing something he's probably worth raising with the person who leads the discussion. Have you noticed this person isn't speaking? So help each other out here. But that's the first one. Just be patient, observe, wait, don't jump in too soon.
Second strategy for the quiet member is to invite them or the whole group to do some early preparation. Sometimes the reason people are quiet is that they don't, they take time to think through their ideas and what they want to say and how they want to answer the question. And so when the pace is like, all right, there's the question, what's the answer? Where's the, that's a bit fast. So what you could do is give them time to read the passage, maybe even look at the study questions beforehand, prepare them, write them down even, give them time so that as they're coming to group, they've had some thinking time, they've got some answers and they feel more confident to actually share them. So that's the second tip, invite early preparation.
Third thing, bit connected to that, but in your study time, give people time to write down their answer. So not necessarily for every question, but for some questions, say, here's the question, I want you to have a think about this and write down your answer. Now that will feel uncomfortable because most group leaders are uncomfortable with silence, but actually a lot of group members will just really appreciate that. If you take a survey in your group, who's a thinker, who's more of a talker, who likes time to think things through themselves, you'll find that a large, a reasonable proportion of your group actually like time to think things through and write things down. And so give that a few go a few times. Give them one of the questions, let them write it down. And then related to that, I'll probably sort of give two or three minutes for that. And then I'll give them little warning. I'll say, yeah, another 30 seconds for writing your answer. And then so I'll give it instructions on that.
So that's the third one, give people time. And the fourth one's connected to that. And that is actually to go around the group to get answers from people. And that works really well with that strategy if they've had time to write things down. Go around clockwise, anti-clockwise, doesn't matter, and get people to share their answer. Now that takes a little bit of time. It works better in a smaller group rather than a really large group. But maybe in a large group, could still do that with half the group for one question, half the group for the other. But that is actually, you're taking the time, we genuinely wanna hear what people have said and you've lovingly given people time to think about it, so you're not really putting them on the spot. But yeah, go around the group and ask, get a contribution from each person. And as you do that especially with the quiet people, give them praise and encouragement for their answer. Be really positive on what they've said. That's great. So you're really good to hear what you've said there. And there you have someone. Yeah, they will nearly always be fine to give some sort of answer. You just got to encourage them in that. So go around the group.
All right, fifth strategy for a quiet person is for some of your questions to discuss the answer in groups of two or three. I normally say two or three because sometimes people are sitting on a sofa or we have an odd number of people in our group, it's not strict to two or three and discuss the question. And that means the quiet person who may not be feel confident to speak up in a large group will feel a bit more comfortable speaking in a group of two or three about their thoughts on the question. And then as you collect answers from people, they may or may not speak up on behalf of their group of two or three. But at least they've had that chance of talking in their small group. And the spokesman for that two or three may even encourage them and say we so and so had a great idea that I wanted to share with you as well, which can be encouraging for them. So yeah, discussing groups of two or three.
Six isn’t unrelated to those other ones, it just some point in the study ask to select people by name to answer the question. This takes a bit more courage, but you just say, here's question one. And you just go, Mike, what do you think about that? Now that is, yeah, it's worth having a go at it's good, especially if your group's been going for a while and you kind of know people. And you know that people are reasonably comfortable and they've, they've got enough, they probably do have an answer in their head, but they just don't feel like speaking. Just ask them. You can often do this with easier questions. So maybe a launching question, which is just like, what's your favourite colour? That's an easy question to answer. Where do you go? What do you like to eat? That's an easy question. You can put people on the spot for that. And also just basic observation questions. That's a good one to put people on the spot for. So who is the author? Who is writing this letter? Joe, what do you think?
That's just, it's an easy one for them to answer. You generally try and avoid putting people on the spot when you say, you know, the more interpretive, challenging, tricky questions or summary questions, you know, like, why is justification by faith so important? How does Paul's mission to the Gentiles connect to his mission to the Jews? You don't ask those questions, but observation ones ask those. And then, yeah, you move on. Maybe, you know, you can ask those tricky ones down the track when your group is really tight, but for now, just start by asking some by name, some of your people to answer these quiet people to answer some of those questions.
And then strategy seven is actually to discuss with the person outside of the group time in a one-to-one context about their contributions to the group. So just ask how they're finding group. Do they any nerves or fears? Are they worried about speaking up? But also to encourage them that when they do speak up, it's really good and you really love hearing from them and you can say, I'd love you to speak more. I'd love you to contribute more. If you're into some fun, you could even say, look, I want you to contribute three times next week to the study. Only speak up three times.
Every time you speak up, tick it off. And when you get to three, you've met your goal, well done. And you make it into a bit of a game and they can have a go at that. But that's really good. And the eighth strategy then is to, to the quiet person, is actually to kind of shut down the loud people. Now, maybe I could put that better, but you will have people who speak a lot and I'll do another podcast on them. But if you get a sense that your quiet person's about to say something and then your loud person speaks up. Don't be worried about just shutting down that loud person and say, wait, wait, wait, wait, I want to hear from Bill over here.
Bill, you look like you're about to say something. What were you going to say? Can you share that with us? So it's just, it's gentle, but you're shutting down the loud people. So to give space to the quiet people to speak in your group and the loud people that we find with that, don't worry about it. So anyway, there's eight strategies for leading discussion with a quiet person in your group or multiple quiet people in your group. Give that a go, see how it works. I'd love to hear your feedback. If you've got any other ideas on how to encourage quiet people to speak, I'd love to hear those aswell.
But I'll see you next time as we do more on leading the discussion.
