This is the Small Group Toolbox, a podcast I'm producing to help group leaders and growth group team leaders lead groups and lead healthy group leader teams. And we're in the middle of a series called The First Four Weeks, because I think with growth groups, it's not enough just to think about the first week, there's too much to do, better to think about the first four weeks. How is our group going to go through that storming and norming kind of stages. And that's going to take more than one week, take four weeks. Last week we did thinking about group goals, how to talk about group goals. And this week we're going to talk about relationship building, relationship building. Because I think that's what people are really interested in when they join a group. Most people, that's a big motivator for them. Even if they say it's sort of growing as a Christian, it's pretty common. There's a serious one about, I want relationships in my Christian life to help me. want to make friends. I want to do this together. It's a good, healthy thing that we want to encourage. So how do you build relationships in the first four weeks? I think it's important to know that you're not going to accomplish a year's worth of relationship building in just four weeks. What you can do is appropriate to that time, appropriate to the life of the group, but there are important things that you can do. And if you do this well, then the group's gonna go much better during the year.
You'll hit those group goals, you'll do some growing, you'll form great friendships, relationships. but why, first of all, from the Bible, why is this important? It's kind of obvious, but let's not take it for granted. The Bible values relationships because within relationships, love and encouragement happens. So I'll read Hebrews 13, verse one and two, great couple of verses. The author there says, keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters. Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing, some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Now, just really simple stuff there. Just keep on loving one another's brothers and sisters. We are brothers and sisters in this Christian family, and therefore we love each other. And there's an encouragement to keep on loving, as if it's not always easy, but the encouragement is to keep on loving one another.
And love of course happens within relationships. We know the people we're loving. And then secondly verse two, it's about showing hospitality to strangers. I think that's a good verse because sometimes in growth group, you'd come together and the people you're meeting with are initially strangers to you. part of like Christian maturity is to show welcome to those people you don't know, to be caring for them, interested in their lives, welcome them into your lives. So show hospitality to strangers. Will they be angels without you knowing it? I think that's a reference to some stories that counts in Genesis. I don't know if that'll happen in your group. Hasn't yet happened in mine. But I think the idea is there. I think the spirit of that verse is that show hospitality to strangers. And what you might find is these strangers become a great blessing to you, like bringing an angel into your life. So go into these kind of relationships with great optimism as to what might happen. So let's build relationships, that's for sure. So let me give you four simple things that you can do to help build relationships in your first four weeks. The first thing is just the basics of like introducing people to each other, learning names and helping them just know the basics of each other. You don't assume things. Sometimes we can think, well, I know that person, I know that person, obviously they must know each other. No, that's not the case.
Take the time to say just the little things. Have you guys met? Do you know each other? Have you come across each other yet? Here, this is so and so, this is so and so. Let's just welcome each other. On that sort of basic stuff, you could even do things like have name tags. If you've got a group that's a little larger, 10 or more people, have some name tags for the first few weeks, or something fun, a little sign, or you've got a group list there that people can refer to. People will be a bit more relaxed if the names come a bit more easily. So that's the first thing, just the basics of introducing people and learning names. Then the second thing is like what we might call getting to know you games, something a little fun that's going to take place for the first, not just for the first week, the first four weeks, I reckon, something fun that'll help people get to know each other.
This is kind of about avoiding the traditional things of like what's your job and what's your, or what you study. That's sort of, we'll get to that in time, but people can do that by themselves. We wanna be helping people see who the group members are as a whole, as a whole person. There's more to them than what they do or what they study. And let alone the fact that there'll be people in your group who don't do paid work or aren't studying and suddenly that becomes a bit awkward. So let's not talk about that. What's a fun thing? Now, if you're a creative sort of person, you'll have lots of ideas on this, ways to get to know each other. I'll just tell you that the default easy one that I use, I would just go around and remind people of names and just choose an interesting topic for them to share about. So I might say, tell us about your first pet or tell us about the last song that you listened to on your streaming service or tell us about the first car that you owned or your ideal Saturday. Look, just simple stuff. People are going to be fine with that. They'll go around, they'll tell a story, there'll be a bit of interaction and you've moved things along. People have started to get to know each other. If you want to do it bit more creatively, could like, my other thing is to bring a bowl of &Ms and people pull out a colour.
And then I reveal, well, if you pull that yellow, you've got to tell this story about your most embarrassing moments. Or if you've got a blue one you've pulled out, you need to say what your top hobby is or something like that. And now, so that's, it's simple, it's easy, and that will just take a short amount of time. Do that every week for four weeks and your group will start to get to know each other. If you've got other fun ideas on how to get to know each other, then go for it. But that's my default kind of fun getting to know you kind of activity. And then I think so first one is like the basics gets to know each other, others names. Secondly, a of fun getting to know each other. Thirdly, I think in the first four weeks, even though you can push in just a little bit deeper to help people get to know each other. And for me, this is a question like, as we go around the group, what what do you how are you hoping to grow this year as a Christian? What's what's a prayer that you're bringing into this year?
Now that's a little deeper than what was your first pet, but it's also not so open to a big share that it's suddenly intense. It's not appropriate for the first four weeks when we're getting to know each other, but it can just reveal a bit more. People might say, for a question like that, I just want to read more of the Bible this year, or I just want to be able to make church a priority this year for me. That's a growth theory for me. Or, I would like to invite someone to life or an evangelistic event this year. And these are pretty easy things to share, but they do reveal about each other. We do learn through these little things. So a question that just brings out something a little bit deeper and do that once or twice in those first four weeks will help your group get to know each other and build relationships. And then fourth point would be to do some planning for social events or a weekend away? Now, social events, if it's just an evening, or Saturday, that's people a bit more flexible there. But even that can be tricky weekends away, definitely take a lot of planning. If you've got a largest group, especially people will be all over the place. And so that will take a little while but you want to in the first four weeks, start that planning process. What is our social calendar look like? It'll look like for the first half of the year, can we find some time for a weekend away?
How are we going to do, let's talk about why we do social events, but then you plan a few dates. What can we look forward to as a group along those lines? Now we'll talk more about weekends away and social events later, but I think if you kind of hit that in the first four weeks, you'll find that those will come along quicker, those social events, those weekends away, and that'll really facilitate relationships across the life of your group. So there we are, relationship building in the first four weeks. The basics: introduce each other, learn each other's names, have some fun sharing some stories, getting to know each other, then just go a little deeper question that reveals something more about people and then do get underway with some planning for the year. yeah, hope that's helpful for you as you start groups this year.