Modern western society has a plethora of books and podcasts on how to parent at all stages of a child’s life. Before print and electronic media the cultural norm was for the elders, grandparents, and experienced parents (usually mothers) gathering around the first-time parents passing on learned, traditional and cultural parenting advice. While parenting seems to be instinctive for other species in the animal kingdom, it certainly doesn’t seem to be the case for humans. In all of this advice there must be a purpose to our parenting, but what is it?
Depending on who you ask there will be a variety of answers to this question. If you asked a kid most will say they know best! They may know what they like — to stay up all night watching TV eating all manner of foods, but do they know best? Children don’t have the foresight or maturity to make wise decisions for themselves. We can teach them how to make wise decisions but they won’t make them naturally. We want to gradually help them make more decisions for themselves as they get older (because they’re going to be adults one day anyway), but left to their own devices they’re not able to decide what is best for them.
It seems logical to think of our children as, well, ours. We conceived them, we gave birth to them, we’ve nurtured and raised them. They’re ours, she or he is mine.
I’m embarrassed to say it, but when the coronavirus pandemic finally came to Newcastle, I thought evangelism was done and dusted. Dead in the water. Kaput! For the last seven years I’ve had the joy of getting to work alongside our church family in sharing Jesus with our city. And I believed in principle that nothing could stop Jesus calling people into His kingdom. But if I’m being honest, in my heart, I didn’t really think it would happen.
Unless you had shares in Zoom, most of us are facing some sort of reduction in income during the caronavirus pandemic. That may have happened quickly if you lost your job or your customers rapidly stopped visiting. Or it may be likely over the coming months as the impact of the economic slow down finds its way to your industry. We’re all going to need to learn how to get by with less.
The book of Proverbs has some helpful wisdom at this time (as it always does).
It’s a basic and beautiful truth that as Christians, regardless of our marital status, we must model ourselves on Jesus, putting on humility and servant-heartedness. Paul exhorts Christians to put off selfish ambition and vain conceit and, ‘in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.’ (Phil 2:3-4). As we relate with our married brothers and sisters, we can have the same mindset as Jesus (2:5) who went so far as to relinquish heavenly status, take on human creatureliness, and die an agonising death for the sake of his enemies.
Now is the time to look to the interest of those around us, not our own. So how can Christians who are single love the married people in our church communities?
Over the last few weeks I’ve gone through a whole range of emotions. I’ve felt overwhelmed, anxious, full of joy, peace, sadness. I’ve been frustrated, excited, distracted, vulnerable, hopeful and grateful. My routine has been upended. I’ve been in more zoom meetings then I can count.
In the midst of the COVID chaos, one of the things I have found helpful has been to remind myself why I should bother praying.
“Social distancing” will surely be a contender for the word / phrase of 2020. While for some of us, it might still have novelty value or provide us with a welcome excuse for more family time, for many single people in our church communities it is bad news indeed. There were already plenty of challenges around connecting with couples and families before the pandemic, but now there are legal and health-related reasons for people to be closing doors to each other. The coronavirus lockdown may be a hard time for some single people.
There’s a lot to say about being single at a time like this and as a married guy I won’t add too much.* However, I do want to give encouragement and ideas to married people as to how they might care for single people during a time of physical distancing.
